Gordo: setting the bar impossibly high for men since 2000
why does sex have to be hard why can’t I just walk up to one of my friends and be like hey we trust each other and I’ve got a lot of tension I need to work out so please take off your clothes and touch me and later we can go for pizza because we are friends and I like pizza
"- "Bedtime Story" by Jeffrey Whitmore (via meandrous)
Careful, honey, it’s loaded,” he said, reentering the bedroom.
Her back rested against the headboard. “This for your wife?”
“No. Too chancy. I’m hiring a professional.”
“How about me?”
He smirked. “Cute. But who’d be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?”
She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.
remember that first live action scooby doo movie. where the antagonist was literally scrappy doo and he was stealing peoples souls, like actually really stealing and absorbing souls, and was planning on taking scoobys soul to rule the world with an army of demons and get revenge on the gang after they abandoned him because he kept peeing in the car, and near the end he turned into this huge dog monster
a real movie
honestly? this was the biggest twist I think i ever experienced as a kid
you also neglected to mention smash mouth had their souls taken as well
How about the fact that instead of an old white man inside of a monster costume, it was
scrappy dooa monster inside of an old white man costume